Catholic Priest for Ceremony
I'm dealing with a slightly difficult issue, I was raised Catholic but honestly am a spiritual person in my adult life but do not believe in organized religion and my finance is not religious either. However, my mom and grandma are serious Catholics so I am getting married at a lovely place that includes ceremony and reception which is great for what I'm looking for. But now that I'm looking into officients, I would just like a Catholic priest to do the ceremony - I'd actually just want him to be a priest but not be a religious ceremony, no Eurcharist, etc which I know anyways can not be done outside of the church. Pls help.

Married: 06/17/2012
Reviews: 12
Posted On: Oct 26, 2011 at 1:08 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

27 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Maybe a priest from your mom or grandmother's church would do it.

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 2
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
what about getting a universalist minister? they are usually the most flexible of all and are usually open to making the ceremony as spiritual as you and fh are confortable with.

We need to get celia over here, she's the master in all matters ceremony. :)

Honey B.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I do not believe that a Catholic Priest will marry you outside of the church that they preach in. I am getting married in a traditional Catholic wedding and we had to do a marriage prep program and meet with the Priest in order for him to marry us in the church.

I know that some Officiants that are ordained in another religion sometimes have permission from the Catholic church to preform Catholic weddings. Our DJ happens to be allowed to conduct Catholic ceremonies but we are not asking him to do ours.

Future Mrs. Loera
Married: 07/14/2012
Reviews: 4
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Am also having a religious ceremony an first i wanted it somewere else not at the church but found out no priest will do it out side of their church =(

Married: 07/02/2012
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You could check if one of the Decons can marry you outside of the church. Most of them do not. If it's important for your mom & grandma, can they check with their church?

Married: 06/17/2012
Reviews: 12
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm comfortable with an officient doing the ceremony, where I'm booking the ceremony gave me a list of officients who can perform all types of ceremonies but I'm worried that doesn't count inthe eyes of old school Catholics. I'd like to avoid an uncomfortable conversation with my mom's side of the family.

I can try asking priests of my mom or grandma's church, maybe the would make an exception. Are there any loop holes here :)

Honey B.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:32 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you are worried about it counting in the eyes of the Catholic church than there are many things that you have to do in order for it to be considered a Catholic marriage. If you are specifically talking about family members who would want it to be Catholic than I think you should talk to them about it.

Honestly if you want someone who is able to conduct a Catholic ceremony that is not a priest your best bet is contact your local Diocese. They can give you the most correct information.

In our area no one other than a Priest or officiant accepted by the local Bishop can preform a Catholic ceremony.

Kimi K
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Sandra - I'm a Catholic Bride. :o) In the Catholic faith marriage is considered a Sacrament and can only be recognized when married in the Church. One person must be a practicing Catholic, you must be engaged for a minimum of 6 months and go through Pre-Cana. Catholic Priests will not marry anyone outside of the church. There are no such thing as 'loop holes' in the Catholic Church.

You do have another option. Get married at your venue with your chosen officiant and after the wedding festivities you do have the option of getting your marriage 'blessed' by the Catholic Church. Personally, I don't see the point if you aren't very religious and don't believe in the Catholic Faith but whatever.

Married: 06/17/2012
Reviews: 12
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you everyone for your comments. I will look into all your suggestions. Also, this may be an extremely stupid question, we are having our ceremony in NJ but are from NYC, for contacting the diocese which area.

Honey B.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You should contact the Diocese in the area in which your getting married.

Princess Bride
Married: Recently Married
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Catholic priest don't do outside ceremony. They are very strict with that belief. I asked my priest and he said being Catholic has to be done in a church not outside. That's not a real wedding. I didnt want to argue so i left it as that. So Im just looking into officiant

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Oct 26, 2011 at 1:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am also having a traditonal Catholic Ceremony , we did have the option to have our priest come to where ever we choose to be married, but we choose to have it at the church. Maybe it because he been our pastor since we were 15yrs old

Married: 10/17/2009
Reviews: 7
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My girlfriend recently ran into this. Her ENTIRE family are strict catholics while she has pulled away from the church. Her husband is not catholic and didnt want to do all the classes required by the catholic church. So what they did was, did the wedding with a officient. Very quick and simple, not overly religious.
They agreed that on their one year anniversary, they would look into a renewal of vows and a blessing of the marriage by the family church.
Made her family happy, and to top it all off, its been over a year now and no one has even mentioned the church blessing.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
There are Catholic priest who are still technically priest who has left the parish and have married that perform Catholic weddings. I had a friend married by a priest in a restaurant. Look into married priest or marrying priest. It's legal but I think frowned upon my the Catholic church. You definately should be able to be able to find a priest to marry you. If you don't care about going through the formalities of the Catholic church look into married or marrying priest.
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
A wedding performed by anyone except a priest (and usually only in his own church) is not going to be 'recognized" by the "Catholic Church" per se. That person is also probably not going to give you much input into what you want to include in your ceremony; it's just not what they do. There are many hoops to jump through, and those hoops are very meaningful to some couples, but it doesn't sound like that is the path for you and your FH.

I have done several weddings (in fact one is this weekend) where the couple has wanted to include Biblical readings, traditional vows, and mentions of God's blessings in their ceremony; sometimes, we'll invite some of the more religious members of their family to deliver the readings, which makes that seem like a gift from the readers rather than a personal choice of the couple's. A really great wedding ceremony that includes your story, some traditional elements and maybe a wine sharing or a unity candle (which are NOT Catholic rituals)
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
but are often seen as such will be lovely and inspiring; I bet your family will just love it and you'll have a ceremony that reflects you authentically.

If you decide to do a small, private Catholic ceremony, that should come first and the big ceremony should come second. Many ministers (and priests) will not marry you in the church if you have been married already. That second ceremony, (technically a vow renewal) can also be gorgeous, meaningful and celebratory, but your officiant might use slightly different language (for instance, "presenting" you instead of "pronouncing" you). Trust me, no one will know the difference, and some of the language you and your officiant would use would depend on whether the larger group knows you got married before.

I'm happy to have a conversation with you about this if you contact me off the board; your ceremony is such an important part of your day (and your families' day too) that it really needs to suit all of you.

Married: 06/17/2012
Reviews: 12
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:32 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you CW! Does anyone have any experiece with Citi Ministries- their website name is so I'm a little wary

Marie S. (aka Princess Leia)
Married: 10/12/2012
Reviews: 12
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate

We're planning on using the above link - Catholic Lite as me and FH refer to ourselves.

2d Bride ®
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 12
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Citi Ministries is basically a group of former Catholic priests who have for one reason or another (typically marriage) lost their status within the Catholic church. They can still perform weddings that will be recognized by civil law, and of course they are familiar with the Catholic traditions and can include as many of them as you want. However, a ceremony performed by one of them would not be recognized by the Catholic church.
Oct 26, 2011 at 2:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You can find all kinds of officiants who say they'll do a Catholic ceremony. The bottom line, as Kimi wrote, is that it's more than just a Catholic style ceremony. There really isn't a Catholic Lite that is considered a sacrament. Whether that is important to you is your decision, but if you are concerned that your ceremony won't be 'Catholic enough" for your family, rentapriest isn't going to cut it.
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