Bridesmaid bought the wrong dress

NOW, she has texted me that her dress is actually navy blue covered in black lace. She never told me that the lace part "didn't come in navy blue", nor did she ask me if the lace dress was definitely ok. no pictures were sent before she ordered the dress. I asked her to bring the dress over so I could see it in person. It's basically black. It will be a completely different color than the other girls' dresses and she isn't the maid of honor. I asked my mom and she basically told me that I should just let it go because it isn't worth the headache. But I really don't want ONE bridesmaid to be in a different color than everyone else. Is it horrible if I tell her to get another dress? I feel like she made the mistake of not following what I asked of her, and then ordering the dress without my approval in the first place. what should I do??

Could you add black details to the other dresses to make them all look okay together?

She did make a mistake by not clearing the dress with you. You have a vision and decided with the other girls on what kind of dress to get, and you gave clear instructions on what to buy. She took advantage of the fact that the dresses are not the exact same, and got a black dress! I would be upset and honestly I would tell her to get another dress. Did you talk with her on why she felt the need to get a dress that doesn't match the rest of the girls? It sounds like she is insecure, to an extent, by your post which is why I am confused on why she bought a dress that would make her stick out from the other girls.

The other dresses are all different styles of navy blue chiffon dresses from Alfred Angelo. My MOH is wearing a navy blue chiffon with intricate beading. I don't know how to add anything to them. 1 of my bridesmaids live in Alaska and another lives in Colorado, so I don't have the actual dresses with me to work with. The dress that she has is ALL black lace so it will definitely stand out... Also, my colors are navy blue, coral/blush, and gold. Black doesn't really fit in anywhere?

Beachbride - I was really upset also because she refused to participate with the others when they all picked their dresses! Since I wasn't there when she actually chose and ordered her dress (mostly because she was being difficult), I couldn't tell her that it was the wrong style and color. When I talked to her about it, she says she didn't realize it would be the entire dress in black lace, she thought it would only be the shoulder straps - which I probably wouldn't have liked anyways. Btw, I liked all the dresses that all the other bridesmaids picked out so I don't feel like I have been too particular.

Black doesn't fit in your color scheme at all. I think she should get a new dress. Will there be enough time for a new Alfred Angelo dress to ship?

A bridesmaid job is to get the dress and show up. you were pretty awesome with how you went about dresses (thats what i'm gonna do). Tell her you'd be happy to find a dress in the right color with her. If she doesn't want to change the dress then ask her if she wants to be in the wedding or would she rather be a guest. Be a friend for that question, not really a bride. Maybe she has something going on and doesn't want to be in it, just be a guest.

Ditto what tinybyfeisty said. Ask her to get a new dress. A navy dress that isn't chiffon/AA would look ten thousand times better than a black dress that you try to make work.

ETA: HI DATE TWIN!

I would make her get a new dress. Black doesn't go with your color scheme at all. I don't feel like its being unreasonable. She was free to pick the style just needed to stick with a color, not very hard.

I agree with tinybutfeisty. She's being a pain for no good reason. Is she usually like this?

Man, that's a bad deal. I'm hoping it was an honest mistake on her part. Is there any way they will return and reorder another dress for her? Good luck!

@JamieLynn I feel like even if that were possible...it would definitely take around or more than two months to get a new dress in - we ordered ours in February and they just came in this week.

True, but I know that DB can do rush orders, but she will pay a hefty price for that..

She has no time to order, tell her to look online for a preowned dress, AA navy. And to clear it with you before purchasing.

Will AA sell a dress off the rack to her?

@danielle has a good point. I would start looking at pre-owned dresses.

It's not that complicated to buy a navy dress. She either buys a new one, or she's just a guest. It's her mistake so she needs to eat that cost.

I would tell her to find another dress. PRONTO

She needs to buy a new dress. If she doesn't, then she doesn't stand. A BM's job is to buy the approved dress and show up on time. She can't even do 1 of 2 tasks? Nope, sorrynotsorry.

I believe I have seen a story on here about the Alfred Angelo lace dresses and how a bridal party ordered them without realizing the lace was all black and the consultant never told them. It honestly might have been an accident but I agree with the other ladies she needs to find a new dress.