My FMIL agreed to send announcements to several of her relatives, instead of inviting them to the wedding. However, she wants to send announcements BEFORE the wedding so that she can still invite them to a bridal shower she wants to throw me. I think that's a very bad idea, but she insists. Any thoughts on how I should handle this? She seems to be throwing etiquette to the wind.
It is really bad to invite someone to a bridal shower and not to the wedding itself. It kind of says they are only good enough to give gifts but not good enough to witness your union.
Well, it's definately bad etiquette to invite someone to a shower and NOT the wedding. Annoucements of that sort should be send after the wedding, just for that reason. Otherwise, you run the risk of appearing "gift grabby". Maybe she can throw some sort of celebration after the wedding? Is there some reason they are not invited to the wedding?
Yes I agree with jlacy. The bridal shower is a gift giving event (that's what it's held for). Inviting someone to that but not the wedding is in extremely poor taste. Maybe you should mention that to your FMIL. Plus announcements are for announcing that you got married, not announcing that you plan to get married and haven't yet.
Tell your FMIL ettiquette dictates that you do not invite folks to a shower if they will not be invited to the wedding. I think it's a kind gesture - just a bit misplaced. Some folks may not mind but I say definitely they should be told upfront. Also since they are relatives, they may feel slighted by not being invited to the wedding. IDK. I wouldn't do it.
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