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Who should walk me down the aisle?
My fiance and I just got engaged and the wedding is planned for sometime early 2010. So far, one of the most pressing issues on my mind is who should walk me down the aisle? My father passed away in 2004 and I still have my mom, but is that weird? I am also close with my younger brother, but he is only 17 and am very close to my uncle. I'm just not sure if there are any guidelines for this if a father is not present. I'm thinking maybe I can ask my mom and my brother. I would just like to know if anyone has been in this situation before and/or has any advice. Thanks so much!

Married: 06/01/2010
Posted On: Nov 2, 2008 at 8:34 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

13 Answers This question is closed for answers.


Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Nov 02, 2008 at 8:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm so sorry your dad can't be there for this. But these days any option for the isle walk is totally acceptable. I've seen moms, brothers, step-dads, uncles, friends, grandparents and any combination of those walk brides down the isle. I personally have chosen to walk alone. So basically choose whomever you feel would make your day special to you. You have the time to think about it for a while so don't commit to anything too quickly. Congratulations and have fun planning!
Nov 03, 2008 at 5:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am sorry your dad won't be there to walk you down the aisle. However, there is no protocol on this. It is your particular preference. If you feel more comfortable having your mom do it, then that is whom you should ask. It is not about age - so your brother is also capable of doing so. Think about this - the bride's mom is usually the last person to be escorted in by one of the groomsmen before the bride walks down the aisle; so if that is what you want to do to keep in tradition, then your brother would be the best choice for walking you down the aisle. And...it may make him feel very special doing so because now he is "the man of the family", so to speak. Whatever you decide, good luck and best wishes.

Connie - "Heart and Soul Events"

Married: 09/13/2008
Reviews: 5
Nov 03, 2008 at 5:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
You could have your Mom & when you get to the end & the officient asks who gives this women your uncle & brother & mother could stand up & say We her family do.

Liz
Married: 04/18/2009
Reviews: 10
Nov 04, 2008 at 8:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Naturally you should do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable on your day, but looking at your options, I would be partial to selecting your uncle as an escort. Mom can still be traditionally seated last and I would make your brother a groomsman. I have always felt that the escort should be someone in a senior position to the bride in keeping with the tradition. of "giving away". You can still list both parents' names in the ceremony program and add your uncle as your "escort" so it is clear he is special but not your father. My 2nd option would be to walk down by yourself if you really feel that no one should take over that role. Lastly, if the line about "Who gives away this woman?" at the start of the ceremony seems awkward, you can always ask the officiant to cut it out. It is not part of catholic ceremonies generally.

Married: 12/20/2008
Nov 05, 2008 at 11:43 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
i am very sorry about your dad passing away. my mom is almost in the same position. she hasn't talked to her real father in years because of complications and her step father of 9 years passed away. so she's left with eaither her mom or my younger brother who is only 16. its a bit different in her case because she is getting re-married and her son is an option. she personally thinks that she should have my brother walk her down the aisle and i agree. i think that if you have your brother walk you down the aisle that would leave a great bond between you and your brother. it could also build your brothers confidence (i'm not sure if thats the right word but i think you get the idea (: ) maybe your mom would like the memory of you guys being that close and seeing him walk you down the aisle. but i hope you have a beautiful wedding and a life full of happiness with your future husband. congratulations on the engagement!
Nov 06, 2008 at 4:39 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The first thing to consider when making adjustments to a tradition is what it symbolizes. Traditionally, the bride is escorted by the father to symbolize that he has cared for her until her wedding day. He then places the bride's hand on the groom's hand to symbolically demonstrate that he approves of their union and understands that all her future steps will be taken alongside her groom. With this in mind, I suggest giving the honor to your mother, since she also raised you and is the one who ultimately approves of the groom as your husband. However, you should not let tradition dictate your decisions. It is your wedding and you should do what your heart tells you is right. Your brother or your uncle would also be appropriate.

The other suggestion of being escorted by your brother and your mother would also be very nice and perfectly acceptable. It is also very common. I recently officiated a wedding where the bride was escorted by her son and her mother.

Married: 10/10/2009
Nov 10, 2008 at 7:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think if you want a male to walk you down the aisle you should probably have your uncle. But only if he is your fathers brother or mothers brother if he is related by marriage then i would suggest your little brother. But if you are going on closest relationship not the sex of the person walking you down it looks like your mother is your first pick.

Married: 09/26/2009
Nov 11, 2008 at 9:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am in a similar situation. My father (who walked me down the aisle at my first wedding 22 years ago)passed away 15 years ago. I originally thought I would have my younger brother (who is 44)escort me as we are a year and a half apart and even though he moved to N.C, we have always been close, and have my older brother (whom I am not close with escort my mother). However, someone mentioned last week that I should consider my son (who will be 15). My fiancee already had planned on having him as a Groomsman as they are close, but now I wonder if I should have my son escort me.

Married: 2+ years ago
Nov 11, 2008 at 10:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hello, I'm sorry your father cant be there with you, I understand. My stepfather passed a few years ago and my biological father has chosen to not be a part of my life. It is not weird to have your mother walk you down. You should do what feels right. Follow your heart on this. My 21 year old son will be walking me and when the minister asks who give me away, my mother and son will answer. Follow your heart and you can't go wrong.

Married: 09/19/2009
Reviews: 6
Nov 11, 2008 at 9:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am in the same place except that my mom and father will not be able to attend my wedding. I am not sure who to have walk me down the aisle. I have no brothers and my twin is my maid of honor. My fiance's brothers are already in the wedding so that is out. I am not close with any of my uncles and my grandparents are already gone. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Married: 08/09/2010
Nov 12, 2008 at 1:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I know exactly how you feel. The only difference is that I never had a dad, but my brothers have ALWAYS been there for me. My brother is going to walk me down the isle and take place in the "father/daughter" dance, only it'll be the brother/sister dance instead. For the longest time I just said I'd have my mom walk me down the isle, and I'm still considering it and just dancing with my brother. Her mom walked her down the isle. There's nothing weird about it. All it is symbolizing is that she is handing you over to your new life and letting you go so you and your new husband can start it. I think it'd mean a lot to the mother of the bride to walk her babygirl down the isle and watch her son take the place of the father in the father/daughter dance.

Anywho, I hope this helps. I'm so sorry for your loss. He'll surely be proudly watching daughter grow from heaven. I pray yall's lives are filled with happiness. God Bless!

Married: 05/08/2009
Reviews: 5
Nov 10, 2008 at 6:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I actually am in the exact same situation, my father passed away in 1998. I am having my mother walk me down the aisle, she thought it would might be weird too. The way I see it is, it's your wedding do what you think is best; my mom pretty much became both parents after my dad passed, so why shouldn't she be able to walk me down the aisle! I think it would be a good idea to have both your brother and your mother walk you!!!!
I am sorry to hear about your loss, and good luck with everything!!!

Married: 07/20/2009
Nov 12, 2008 at 2:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am sorry to hear about your faterh not being there to give you away. Well, I find myself in a situation also to where I don't know who or how I'm going to be given away. Tradition shows that my dad will be the one who walks me down the isle and gives me away, but I have a father, step-father, mother, and step-mother. All parents had a significant part in raising me. What I've come up with is my dad will walk me down the isle and when the pastor ask who give me away, I am having my mother join my dad and they are going to say on the behalf of them and their spouses, they all give me away. I hope that this helps.
 

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