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Rehearsal Dinner
So I know that the grooms parents are supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner, and my future MIL asked if she could plan it to take some stress off of me but I think she is planning on an outside dinner by a lake. We are getting married in August and where it is at is really hot that time of year and if it's by the water there will be mosquitoes and all sorts of bugs. Plus, I'm not much of an outdoor person, or BBQ person. I really want it to be in a nice restaurant where we can all sit and relax and not worry about anything. So how should I tell her that I want to just plan the dinner and let her know in the end what it will all cost, since she hasn't told me how much they want to spend on it?

via
Community Headliner

Married: 08/16/2009
Reviews: 3
Posted On: Feb 21, 2009 at 11:10 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

5 Answers This question is closed for answers.

Posted On: Feb 22, 2009 at 3:20 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I always say Honesty is the best Policy. Let her know you are thrilled that she wants to do the rehearsal party for you and make your life less stressful however you already have a preconcieved idea of what you want. go online and download information or contacts where you would feel comfortable with it being. with this info find out approximate costs and give her atleast 5 options since you do not know what the price range is. Then give it to your future husband and let him break the news He can Never Do Wrong
The next option is to invite your inlaws to a restaurant that you like and feel is medium priced and say how greatit would be to have teh rehearsal dinner here. Ask for the manager and get information. This opens the dialog in a relaxed arena and if she says she was planning it at the "lake" voice your concerns over Rain, bugs, heat etc. Tell her it would be so stressing to you knowing of all the pitfalls of outdoor entertaining and the cost effectiveness
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monarchmom
Community Superstar

Married: 09/13/2008
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Feb 22, 2009 at 7:08 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I would actually have your FH tell his Mom. That way he is saying the bugs would be awful by the lake in August mom, not YOU! If she thinks it's her sons idea she may be more apt to go with the restaurant idea. Then he can always throw in how much were you planning on spending for the RD, I'm sure we can find a restaurant in that budget, OK. Of course this is just my opinion Best of Luck
Posted On: Feb 22, 2009 at 9:01 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Most definitely have your FH discuss it with her. If you want to make sure everything is conveyed properly, make sure you're there for the discussion. But let your fiance' lead the conversation.

Melissa
Community Megastar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Feb 23, 2009 at 10:15 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I actually had the SAME issue... my FMIL originally wanted to have a BBQ/catered thing in her backyard for the rehearsal dinner... I was ok with it at first since that is were my FI and I actually got engaged but we are kind of having a "big" wedding that is going to be somewhat costly and elegant and I really just didnt think a backyard BBQ would "fit". I didnt want to step on any toes or make it seem like I was this big bratty bride (since my FIL's are paying for the rehearsal dinner) but I also wanted the dinner to be at a nice restaurant where we could go and relax and have a good time. I had my FI talk to her which I thought would be better than me doing it and she was actually ok with it all... We actually just visited and booked our dinner at a really nice Italian Place and we are all really happy with it. I think if your just honest with her and give your suggestions then I think the two of you could come up with something you both like together... Good Luck!!!

a_perfect_event
Community Superstar

A Perfect Event
Posted On: Mar 14, 2009 at 9:22 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Via, congrats on your upcoming wedding! I agree with the other posters and say honesty is the best policy. Especially when dealing with your future in-laws. If the outdoor BBQ is not your thing, they should know that, so talk to your fiance and explain it to him and have him talk to his mom about it. I would still advise letting her decide on where since she is spending the money, but you do have a right to say not a relaxed affair near the lake.
 
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