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Is it appropriate to invite the father of the groom's girlfriend to wedding?
My fiance's parents are divorced and the mother hates his father. My fiance is worried that it would make his mother uncomfortable or even mad. We both have met his father's girlfriend and she is nice. We are worried to that his girlfriend's feelings will be hurt if we don't invite her.

kiki30
Married: 2+ years ago
Posted On: Jul 10, 2008 at 5:44 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

6 Answers This question is closed for answers.


Married: 09/06/2009
Reviews: 8
Jul 10, 2008 at 7:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You don't want to make any assumptions, so the first thing I would do is to have your fiance talk to his mom about it. If it turns out that she thinks she will be hurt, upset, uncomfortable, or otherwise entreat on your big day, then your fiance might want to talk to his dad about the situation.

I think that your fiance and you will have to decide is it worse to hurt his mother's feelings, or his father's girlfriend's feelings? Either way, it is YOUR big day, so invite the people that you want to share it with--and if that includes his father's girlfriend, think of ways to keep the drama to a minimum, like separate seating and having someone you trust to keep an eye on everyone.

Married: 04/26/2008
Reviews: 7
Jul 10, 2008 at 7:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yeah, you need to invite her. Inviting half of a couple just doesn't work. You have to trust that everyone who cares about you will act like grown ups, behave, and realize that this day isn't about them - it's about YOU!

Married: 07/06/2007
Reviews: 5
Jul 10, 2008 at 7:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Kaycerenee, if you invite the father you need to invite the girlfriend as well. Im sure you would find it disrespectful if someone only invited you to a wedding and not your fiance or FH, vice versa. Yes, your mother will be affected by it one way or another, but she doesn't need to speak to her or become her BFF, im sure she'll be fine especially if she loves you and wants that day to be the happiest day of your life.
Jul 11, 2008 at 2:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well, weddings are a moment to be happy, and to celebrate. Even knowing that your mother-in-law will be uncomfortable, it is not the time or the moment to make mistakes like that. Everybody must be invited, because ia a few months from now the anger will desapear and
you will look bad because you didn't invited her. The couple getting married is starting a new life, start it right.Just make sure that your mother can't sit with your father during the ceremony, or during the reception, make sure that will be regarded. Happy Wedding!

Whimsical Floral Design

Whimsical Floral Design
Jul 11, 2008 at 5:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If she is a serious girlfriend, it is proper to invite her. Any guest who has a serious partner is expected to be invited. His mother should understand - it is a family event, and if the girlfriend is about to be family or has been in the family for a long time, she has every right to be there. Your fiance's mother will just have to understand. It would be like saying she couldn't attend because she wouldn't get along with his father.

-Leann
Budget Designer Florals
leann@budgetdesignerflorals.com
Jul 14, 2008 at 1:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You cannot exclude your fiance's father's girlfriend if it is a serious relationship. His mother will just have to deal with it. If you want to wiggle around an actual invitation, send Dad an invitation with "and Guest" added to it and send the exact same invitation to his mother. Then you don't mention it at all or talk about it with either of them. Usually at major family events, the divorced parents behave out of respect for the couple. If there is a problem, you have your wedding planner deal with it.
 

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