Miscellaneous

Children in the wedding

Hi we have children from our first marriages, and I want to include them so they feel like they are getting married too...a ceremony about becoming a family. Any ideas?

Posted On: Mar 11, 2008 at 11:04 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

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AggieBride

Married: 05/23/2009

Posted On: Mar 12, 2008 at 1:12 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
You could include them in your vows. You and your fiancé would do your vows in the wedding as usual, but then turn around to your kids and make vows to them too. You could promise to respect and love them as well (especially the new parent in their lives).

crose

Wedding: 06/26/2010

Posted On: Mar 12, 2008 at 2:31 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
When my dad and step-mom got married me and my brother and little sis were in the wedding. Before they started the ceremony, the precher said a prayer for uniting our families and my step-mom gave us each silver ID bracelets with our names engraved on the front and the wedding date on the back. They were very pretty. I still have mine in my jewelry box at home. It's been since 1996 and every year I wear it to my parent's anniversary dinner. They are touched that we wear them.

evergeneva

Married: 09/06/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Mar 12, 2008 at 4:46 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
You also have to option of doing a unity ceremony. For example, after you have done your vows as a couple, light a unity candle together with your children to represent the joining of your families. A sand, wine, or water ceremony (mixing of different colored sand, wine, or water) to represent the making of a new family also have a beautiful symbolism and make a lovely keepsake!

weddingfavors

Ever After Celebrations

Posted On: Mar 12, 2008 at 7:07 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
The unity sand ceremony is an excellent way to symbolize the joining of your families together. WeddingDecorPlus.com has details on how to incorporate the unity sand ceremony into your wedding. You could even do a candle ceremony with a personalized family candle with your children's names on it. Hope that helps! Ever After Celebrations www.favorseverafter.com www.weddingdecorplus.com

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 13, 2008 at 10:15 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
These are all such wonderful ideas! Thank you so much!

Anita

Married: 05/24/2008
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Mar 13, 2008 at 1:35 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi, my fiance has a step son and a daughter from his previous marriage and i have a son. To include our children we are having a special family blessing and we will be giving the children tokens, at this point i think a necklace with a cross on it. that the Priest will bless before and there will be a special vow just for the kids. Remember the day is mostly about you two but if you work with your priest or minister or officiant they will be able to help you. There are more and more of us out there. :-)

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 13, 2008 at 1:48 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Nina, Thanks. It's true; we're not alone! lol BTW, I read a really good book called "Keys to Successful Stepmothering" which has helped me so much.

Anita

Married: 05/24/2008
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Mar 13, 2008 at 1:49 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Breidie, Thanks so much I will look that one up. It seems so much more complicated because of his step-son. What does that make me now a step-step-mother, lOl... So far things are great and the kids are all so happy for the two of us. Let me know what you choose to do I am curious :) It was so important to me that the kids be included but to not take the focus of it all away from the two of us. Nita

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 13, 2008 at 2:04 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Nita, I'm glad to hear this from you, it's nice to know someone in a similar situation! Yes that's an interesting thing, to have the step-son still in his life. I thought one of the best lines from the movie "Clueless" was when the father says to Cher, "You divorce wives, not children." Breidie

sockfuzz

Married: 05/10/2008

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 12:46 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I am also in a similar situation. I have three children from a previous marriage, and my fiance has two children from a previous marriage. We are having our children stand with us, and the majority of our wedding ceremony is the traditional ceremony. Well, as traditionally as we're doing it, anyway! After our vows and exchanging of rings with each other, we're going to say vows to the kids and give them a token as well. We haven't purchased or decided on the tokens yet, but we're thinking of bracelets for the girls, but haven't decided on the boys yet. In what I've drafted of my vows so far, I'm basically just promising the kids that I'll always encourage their relationship with their parents, that I'm not replacing their mom, but that I will always care for them and love them as my own kids, etc. If you have any great ideas, please share them!!

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 10:03 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi sockfuzz, Thanks for posting. It's interesting to read what your vows to the children will be, because this has crossed my mind, too, how to make them feel comfortable and happy without bringing up feelings of guilt like they are betraying their mom.

Jahari

Weddings by Sandy

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 12:58 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
There are lots of lovely ways to include the children, doing a sand ceremony, where each child and then the bride and groom pour sand into a special jar and create a piece of are that can be displayed in a special place in your home. This represents the blending of your families into one. You can give each of them a token of love. Have your officiate or minister say a few words about families and how children are a very special part of creating a family. There are so many ways to recognize each child, be creative. If your minister doesn't allow for this, do a special thing at your reception. I think it is very important to include them. Rev Sandy

jparris83

Wedding Concepts by Jennifer

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 1:07 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
http://www.theweddingoutlet.com/Wedding-Ceremony/Family-Medallion/Family-Medallion-Youth-Ladies-Ring This website has what is called a "Family Medallion" ring, it also comes as a pendant. If you order one, it comes with a book explaining how to present it to the children during the wedding ceremony. Its a beautiful way to include the children, and gives them a lasting reminder that they are a part of something.

Anita

Married: 05/24/2008
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 4:15 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I wanted to say thank you to the most recent post. I have been trying to find just the right thing and that medallion was great. I will show it to my Bill tonight. I managed to find the vow we will be saying; it is combined with the vow for the declaration of consent; "Do you have this Man/woman to be your wife/husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him/her... shall live? then "do you (Groom) to take (Bride's) children (their names) as your own, raising them with all of your wisdom, compassion and faith, loving them patiently, tenderly and unconditionally?" This is all done before the marriage vows....

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 4:57 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi, Yes, thank you for the medallion info! I think I'm going to go with the ID bracelet idea. I loved what she said about still keeping it and wearing it. And it seems like it would be good for boys, too. Nita, thank you for posting the vows! I love the way the children's vow is part of the marriage vows! The only thing for us we can't use a vow that we'll raise the kids as their own because both kids have biological parents and I think they may feel like we're pretending they don't.

Anita

Married: 05/24/2008
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 7:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Breidie, I understand your point. It is all on how you feel. Even though you are a step-parent you are still a huge part in how the child is raised. It would have to be something you discuss with your future husband. You both need to discuss how the children will be raised and how much of a role in that you will play in their life. The kids are much smarter then we all give them credit for they know we are not their birth parents hence we can not replace them, but they also know that we are going to be there for the long haul as parents, at least that is how our kids think with us. The way i see it is we fall in the same category as adoptive parents. We are important people too :-) It is all a matter of preference.

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 14, 2008 at 7:53 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Nita! BTW, I LOVE that picture of you and your DF! I guess my concern is that the phrase I promise to raise them as my own children, kind of sounds like those movies when a bear finds a human baby or dog finds a piglet, or whatever and "raises them as their own." I'm concerned they'll think "Whoa!" aren't we going back to mom's house ever? I do like the idea of expressing the longevity of my care for them. I guess I'll have to play with the words til it comes up right for me. Thanks! Breidie

Anita

Married: 05/24/2008
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Mar 19, 2008 at 12:21 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Breidie, LOL, I just love how you put that, LOL you killed me. It is all a matter of interpretation and preferance. When i read that I did not have that type of feeling come over for me. I guess that is why for us it would work. But for you on the other hand i would agree you will need to play with the words unless you plan on dragging them back to your cave. LOL Blending families is a challange all on their own this might be why so many people opt to make the wedding about them only and encorporate the childeren in a different way on their own time. You really crack me up girl!

Breidie

Wedding: 12/25/2011

Posted On: Mar 19, 2008 at 12:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
LOL thanks Nita (still LOLing) Well I'm getting so many awesome ideas from you ladies on this thread, I'm so excited to incorporate the kids into the ceremony! Breidie

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