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what do the grooms parents pay for?
are only son is getting married and the bride keeps asking me what we are going to pay for - what are we responsible for?

Married: 08/08/2009
Posted On: Oct 27, 2008 at 10:05 AM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

4 Answers This question is closed for answers.


Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Oct 27, 2008 at 11:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I believe you are only "responsible" for what you WANT to pay for and what you can AFFORD. This is their wedding and they are adults. SO they should be ready to pay for it themselves and accept any help you CHOOSE to offer, not ever EXPECT you to be obligated. She is probably asking because they need to put their budget together and just want to know what they can count on from you. Don't feel pressured to put forth anymore than you are comfortable with. Enjoy the special day and use the planning process as a way to get to know your future daughter in law

Married: 05/16/2009
Reviews: 10
Oct 27, 2008 at 12:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Traditionally they are responsible for paying for the rehearsal dinner. Other than that they are kind of hands free. If you want to help then do so, if she is nagging you that is not right.

Liz
Married: 04/18/2009
Reviews: 10
Oct 27, 2008 at 1:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Traditionally I believe the groom's parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, their own travel/lodging for the ceremony, and their own wedding attire. This depends a lot on how traditional you are and how old and mature the couple is, i.e. if they are young with no money, they may be looking to you more for help. That said, it is certainly the contemporary approach that the couple takes on most of the expense. The groom is traditionally responsible for the ring(s) and honeymoon as his primary expenses. A good approach is to have the couple develop their budget then meet with each set of parents and determine what level of support is required and what can be offered. If the couple's budget is unrealistic or your "suggested portion" is excessive, it is good to be clear now. You will want to be generous enough to avoid having a lifelong fight over the money aspect (especially for your only son) yet no one should be putting themselves in debt.

Married: 01/27/2009
Oct 30, 2008 at 1:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with the above, you are traditionally responsible for the rehearsal dinner alone. My suggestion is, after taking into consideration your finacial situation as well as your son and his finace's, decide on an amount you can afford. Give this amount as a total gift to them. To cover the rehearsal dinner as well as your bridal shower and wedding gift to them. This is exactly what my fiance's mother did for us. It's a great idea becuase we can use the money as we see fit, our is a destination so we are skipping the reheasal dinner and because my mother was only able to contribute 2,000 we will us the money towards the welcome back reception. Then you are able to wipe your hands early after your gift has been given and your son's future wife should not be asking a thing of you!
 

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Vow of Conduct