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too many kids with not enough roles
I am a full time nanny for twin boys and would love to have them as my ring bearers but my fiance has nine cousins (yes nine!) under the age of 8 (all of which live at least 2 hours away). I know his family would be offended if I asked the boys I take care of to be ring bearers without involving any of his little cousins. I am just so much closer to these boys than we are with any of the other kids. I already have the flower girl set with no controversy - thank goodness my best friend has a little girl :). Does anyone know of any alternatives for kids to be involved without making it a chaotic parade? I have heard of bell ringers but I'm afraid that would be the epitome of a parade. The only other thing I could think of is to cut out the ring bearer all together and maybe have 2 flower girls? Any other ideas or options would be great!

Married: 09/26/2009
Posted On: Jan 27, 2009 at 4:24 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

9 Answers This question is closed for answers.

Married: 09/13/2008
Reviews: 5
Jan 27, 2009 at 7:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
This is what I would say to the family....Look there is NO way we could possibly choose between all 9 of the cousins to be our ring bearer so to not hurt ANYONE's feelings we can't just choose one cousin & it it unrealistic & not in our budget to have 9 ring bearers after all there are only 2 we chose the twins I take care of. I would not even dream of having all those kids in a wedding you are right that would turn into a circus.

Patricia W.

Simply done...
Jan 28, 2009 at 8:35 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Monarchmom hit the nail on the head as to using the twins and 2 flowergirls okay...One consideration is if these other children will be attending the wedding. If so and you do want to include them...give them small jobs:
pass the guest book to each table during the reception
pass out the wedding programs
distributing favors,after dinner mints,table cameras etc.
One bride I know used 2 boys to act as pages helping with her train.
Plan a photo with all the children...a great memento for all.
On a side note...with that many children at the wedding, try to find an area where they can be kids. Buy quiet travel game, puzzles coloring/crafty materials, foam balls etc. Many sites have an adjacent area where the children can be seen but they can relax. Consider hiring a sitter to keep the children occupied. Another idea is to give them disposable cameras and have them act as roving photographers.
Weddings can be difficult for children and less than enjoyable for their parents.

Married: 05/02/2009
Jan 29, 2009 at 1:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You can't let your family presure you. Listen to Monarchmom. Use the twins becuase they would be your cutest ringbearers, and I'm assuming you are much closer to them than you are to your FH cousins who live 2 hours away. Also how much of a hassle would it be for eht families to drive all that way to have little boys fitted at your tuxedo shop. It's just not practical an dyou can tell anyone who complains that. I have a ready made FG RB combo with my niece and nefew but chose a different little boy becuase having him in the wedding meant more to my Fiance. and while my sister would have loved to see her little guy in a tux she completely understood. I'm sure your family will too.
Jan 29, 2009 at 6:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you decide to include the cousins, a suggestion: have them all be "honorary" ring bearers. They could all walk down the aisle at an alloted time, but instead of standing up with you during the ceremony (chaos) have them file into the third or fourth row. They don't have to all dress the same or actually do anything, but they get to walk down the aisle, which many kids love. Afterwards take a picture with all of the kids and it will be really cute.

tlc party planning

TLC Party Planning
Jan 29, 2009 at 8:09 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would not let my family dictate my wedding but if you do want to include them there are several ways. You have a miniture bride and groom, two bell ringers, two children roll out the aisle runner, etc.
Jan 30, 2009 at 8:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm not sure what to do with ALL of them (there were some excellent suggestions by others though) but tsome of the older cousins may be helpful as readers. I know that by 1st grade I was doing readings at mass in my church. Perhaps some of the older kids have excellent reading abilities and may be helpful (and included) in this manner. Call their mothers and ask how well their children do with crowds and what their reading skills are like. I'm sure all of your guests would be absolutely charmed to see a child at the lecturn during the ceremony!

Married: 04/10/2010
Reviews: 5
Jan 31, 2009 at 9:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
depending on ages here are a few options...
candle lighters
hand out programs before
hold your train
roll out the aisle runner if you will have one
put ring bearer(s) and flower girl(s) in a wagon have bigger kid pull them
hand out bubbles or birdseed at the end
if it is outdoors hand out water or hand fans
coat attendent
"security guard" give them a little badge and they can put gifts on tagble at reception
junior bridesmaids/groomsmen
usher people to their seats
Bouquet holder – hold's the bride's bouquet during the ceremony (expect it to get a little squashed!)
If a large number of children are present and not all can participate in the wedding, make their day extra special with the simply task of bubble guards. Each child receives a jar of soap bubbles and as the bride and groom depart for the reception, the bubble guards line up and blow the bubbles in their path. Don’t forget to thank all kids with a unique wedding favor that only they can appreciate
Feb 02, 2009 at 10:43 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Depending on the ages of the children there are a few things they might be able to do.

For older children they can read a poem or reading during the ceremony. They can also be ushers.

Younger children can pass out programs, pass out the bubble or whatever you will be using at the end of the ceremony, and little things like that too.

Hope this helps.

Reyna (Renee')

Feb 02, 2009 at 11:08 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Two can stand at the door and give out the programs. One or two can ring a bell and run up the isle just before the bride and say"the bride is coming" the bride is coming" make sure the bell nor the kid is too loud, muffle the bell or make sure they are small. You can have two Jr brides maids, two ring bearers, two could be ushers and help people to their seats. Then two flower girls. OR.....Ask your cousin the have to chilren in the wedding as flower girls.
You do not have much time... Good luck

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