Yours, Mine, and Ours

Posted by violet on Apr 17, 2012

I have a guilty confession to make. I like to use the word “my” a lot when referring to our wedding. It’s not because I don’t love my fiance, or because I’m trying to make the day all about me…it’s just hard for me to transition from the little girl talking about “my wedding one day when I grow up” to being the girl talking about “our wedding” and getting married.

The other day when we booked our venue, we left to go out to dinner with our mothers and his grandmother and in the car on the way there he looked at me and said “whose wedding is this again?” Apparently at different points in the meeting I had referred to it as “my wedding” and talked about “my reception.” It wasn’t intentional, but it’s a hard habit to break.

I know that some day it will be second nature to refer to everything as “ours” but at this point it all still seems so new that we’re actually getting married. I love him, and he knows that I don’t mean anything by calling it “my wedding” but I also know that he’s just as excited about it as I am.

Tonight at dinner we were talking about weddings with two of our married friends. They told us that at one of their meetings with a vendor they told the groom “You know you don’t make the decisions, right? This is HER day.” And although I know that in the end the day is supposed to be about love and about our marriage and commitment to each other, the focus for the most of the day is on the bride. I don’t want people to refer to the day as “my day” but rather as “our day.” So, I guess if I want them to do that I should probably practice what I preach.

Do you have this problem? Did you have a hard time transitioning from “mine” to “ours”?