One of the questions I am most often asked as the publisher of RemarriageWorks.com is, “what should I wear to my second wedding?” I can totally relate. After I got engaged to remarry, one of the first things I did when it came to wedding planning was to buy a stack of wedding magazines.
I couldn’t wait to thumb through the pages, and I quickly discovered they offered very little for someone in my shoes; i.e., someone who is, let’s just say, over 30, divorced with two children, and marrying a guy with three, and no longer a size two. Well, honestly speaking, I can’t remember ever being a size two, and if you are a woman who is getting remarried, you probably get my point about the magazines. After all, my fiancé, a widower at the time, and I already had three sets of china between our two homes.
So, I went to bridal shops, and figured out that I didn’t want a long, white poofy dress again, mainly because I didn’t want anything that even closely resembled any part of my first wedding. It didn’t last. The bridesmaids’ dresses made me look like I was trying to squeeze into a prom dress. And, the mother-of-the-brides’ dresses were too grandmotherly; I wasn’t ready for that stage yet.
Ultimately, I ended up finding a dressmaker in the yellow pages and started to figure out from scratch what to wear. I wish I had known then what I know now. What’s important is that the remarrying bride can choose attire for her second (or subsequent) wedding that makes her feel beautiful, confident, and comfortable.
Beauty, confidence, and comfort come in many forms on your second wedding day. I have heard from a bride who remarried in her golden years and celebrated her wedding at Bellagio in Las Vegas in a black gown because she thinks she looks best in black. She was absolutely gorgeous! Another bride shared that she wore a flowy pants suit because she thought pants looked better on her body type. And, another woman who married the first time around in a court house in jeans decided that she was marrying for a second time in an over-the-top white, lacy gown because she wanted to have a wedding fit for a princess. And, “over-the-top” was her words, not mine.
The bottom line is that there are no “shoulds” when it comes to deciding what you should wear for your second wedding. Wear a color and style that makes you happy and reflects your joy about finding your second chance for happiness. Life is short. And, your dress can be, too.
You may find additional ideas of what to wear for your second wedding in pictures from our Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides held in Leesburg, VA on March 10, 2012. The fashion show was hosted by Soliloquy Bridal Couture in Herndon, VA.
Paula Bisacre is an expert in remarriage and stepfamily issues based in the DC area. She is the president of Remarriage, LLC, the publisher of RemarriageWorks.com, the founder of RemarriageShowcase.com, and the author of the Journal for Stepmoms.