Wedding Planning:
Where to Begin - that is the question!
Planning your wedding can be one of the greatest experiences of your life! It is a time to prepare for your future and to lay down a strong foundation, which will support you throughout your entire life. The key to creating a harmonious relationship, one that grows stronger over time, is nurturing each other along the way and having a strategic plan of action. As with anything communication is the key! The good news is, you are no longer alone in this world. You are engaged and part of a couple, soon to join together and become one. Even if your fiancé doesn't want to play a major role in the wedding planning process, he or she will have an opinion on what they would like to see as the overall vision for the wedding.
Define your Vision!
This is your starting point. Begin with a dialog about what the look and feel of your wedding will be like. Consider what style of ceremony or reception you prefer and how you would like for your guests to feel at your celebration. Consider what is most important to each of you. Try to develop your vision together. Draw your fiancé into the vision by asking what type of music they would like to have at the reception. Do you envision live music or a DJ? Find out if the dream reception is small and intimate or wild and over the top. Who will stand up with you as you say your vows? By talking together you will define a shared vision, one which both of you can be excited about. Once you have defined your vision, create a list of priorities to help you get started with the details.
Share the news with family and friends!
Oh, Oh, the "F" word! In this case it stands for family. Guess what? Your next step is to involve each of your families. Family support is a wonderful thing. The goal should be to get both sets of parents involved and excited about the wedding. Once again, the best way to accomplish this is to be open and candid, practicing all those important communication skills.
You also need to understand that even though your parents may love your fiancé, and be excited for you both, the announcement of your engagement is the final step in losing their "little Baby." Try to be understanding and look at it from their perspective. If you've ever watched the movie "Father of the Bride" with Steve Martin you'll know what I'm talking about.
Involve your family!
To keep all the parents from focusing on their past, your task is to paint a beautiful picture with the brightness of your future. Talk about, how exciting your Father and Daughter dance will be. Discuss which song will be played as you dance with your dad. Talk about how much fun it will be shopping for gowns together with your mom. Make sure you let your mother know how much you'll need her support and advice. Emphasize the fact that you want and need her input. After all, she's been through this before. Be understanding! Even if it turns out, you have opposite ideas for everything; try to let your parents feel like they are involved. Most likely, they have been dreaming of the day you'd be married. They will want to be a part of helping you prepare for this big step in your life. Be patient and listen to your parent’s vision.
Prepare your Invite List!
The best way to get your parents involved is to ask them to prepare their own list of priorities and draft an invitation "wish list" of all prospective family and friends who should be included. Collect all the lists and create a master invite list. Once you have everyone’s tentative guest list, you are in a position to begin to project expenses and establish who is willing and able to cover each piece of the wedding budget. With guest lists and priorities in hand, as a couple, sit down together with each of your families and have a heart to heart discussion about who will be "hosting" the wedding.
Compile an Overview of Expenses!
There are as many different variations of wedding budgets as there are different styles of weddings. Traditionally the bride's family hosted the wedding and most of the expenses that went with it. The groom’s family hosted the rehearsal dinner and all those expenses.
Here is a traditional break down of all wedding expenses…
Overview of Expenses:
Expenses of the Bride and her family:
Services of a bridal consultant
Invitations
Brides wedding gown
Floral decorations for church and reception
Photographer
Videographer
Music for church and reception
Transportation for the bridal party
All expenses of reception G
ifts for all attendants
Grooms ring
Grooms gift
Equipment rentals for church and reception
Lodging for pastor / rabbi if from out of town
Lodging for all attendants
Bridesmaid’s luncheon
Expenses of groom and his family:
Bride’s engagement ring and wedding rings
Grooms wedding present to bride should you exchange gifts
His gifts to all his attendants
Boutonnieres for his attendants T
ies and / or gloves for his attendants
Bride’s bouquet and going away corsage (if not part of your floral costs)
The officiant fee or donation
Transportation and lodging for his attendants and his parents
The marriage license
The honeymoon
A bachelor dinner
And of course the rehearsal dinner too.
Today more and more brides and grooms are paying for their own weddings. Keep in mind that no one, neither the brides family nor the grooms family, is required to pick up any of expenses. Hosting a wedding is a big responsibility both in time and finical obligation. If either family is willing to help, be grateful and plan according to what is affordable to everyone.
Most importantly, create a budget that works within your means. Some of the wedding costs will be fixed, while others will be based on the number of guests attending. If you need help preparing a budget, most wedding consultants offer a complementary consultation. Just remember your planning a wedding, but your preparing for marriage too.
Enjoy the journey. Focus on each other and on being in love. Take special care to do kind things for each other always. Lastly, the only one requirement to get married is the license, everything else is just “icing on the cake”!
Review your list of priorities, as it compares to your Overview of Expenses and Needs Assessment. Remember compromises might need to be made!
5.0/5.0
The Bridal Bar
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